Honestly, does anyone even read this? I know I haven’t been putting anything up here because I am totally disgusted with life in general. Seems the only thing people want is the free you tube channel. Everyone wanted a follow up to the first Whole Bag of Crazy. So it was published, did it sell? No. Did the last Grindhouse Resurrection sell? No. Over 2K subscribers to this fucking channel. 

The only way people would buy is when I decided to pull the plug. Then I had a flurry of sales, then nothing. Oh, don’t get me wrong, some people have been very generous. Then someone says someone should start a gofund me for Pete. Ok, your willing to start a ‘charity” for me, but your not willing to buy what I’m selling to keep solvent, isn’t that a little fucked up? I want to earn, I don’t want charity.

My shit show began in earnest when I had to cash in my life insurance policy because I needed to make repairs to my house. Then both dogs got sick. Then in June my appendix burst. Now that money is gone. So what else could go wrong? Actually a lot. My property was reaccessed. My beat up foreclosure is now the price of a mansion. And of course taxes will go up. I just wanted to die in my own fuckin’ home and now I might not get that wish. 

Then I get stalked at a convention. I split with Cinema Waste of time in 2018 for a lot of reasons. So this other con, Ohio Terror Con, runs in the same hotel. A friend of mine comes in from Vegas, so I go there to see him. We are outside talking when I see a creepy little bastard who is connected to Waste of time. He takes a cellphone pic and waddles off. I thought nothing of it until I got a bunch of emails the next day. It seems the promoter of Cinema Waste of Time came there and was running his mouth about me. I get the feeling that if I had hung around, I would have caught a beat down. 

 I actually posted a video about this and got called a liar, got shouted down and was accused of “ruining everyone’s good time.” Well fuck you, I can’t go to an event with worrying about someone running back to the almighty promoter of Cinema Waste of Time with more lies? Yeah, that show used to be the end all be all but no more it’s a 2nd rate show and the only draw is a bunch of boutique DVD companies who make bank there. 

So my summer never was. In a week I turn 72, do I need crap like this in what little time I may have left? No, I don’t. The Fusebox Show did me solid with this website. Grindhouse Releasing gave me a huge push. Then everything stops, but it seems I’m expected to publish a mag that no one wants to buy. I will do a 4th issue somehow and that’s because contributors should get to see their work in print. After that, I don’t know. Sad, because I used to enjoy doing this. 

4 Thoughts on “Absence & Malice”

  • Hang in there Pete. I know what you’re going through. My own house, deeded to me by my Mom on her eath, has gone from 18K to 200k in the past ten years’ With the shortage of affordable housing in Dallas, suddenly my area of town which is only ten minutes from downtown looks good. I get two offers a week to buy it. I want to live in peace. My health is going down in degrees. I had had back problems that I thought were fixed six years ago. Last week the spasms returned. Add to that my jaw’s nerves on the left side were damaged during oral surgery last year and I have all kinds of pain on a daily basis. Oh, and you practically need a court order to get a doctor to give you pain pills. I try and remind myself that my older Brother and his wife both died at age 66 from painful diseases that struck them in their early sixties. No golden years for them. I have bought all of your zines and hope to see you in print again. It disgusts me that Horror Festivals can be so low that they attack people who helped to found them. I have quit going to my own local festival ‘Texas Frightmare Weekend’ because the crowds got to be too massive and the greed got to be too harsh. I mean someone like the girls who played the twin ghosts in ‘The Shining’ were asking 120 bucks for a picture last time I noticed. Did their whole horror career even have more than two minutes of airtime? I hope we both get healthier.

    –Ronald Miller

  • Hang in there Pete. Your pups are a blessing and they need you.
    I’ve been in a similar situation before and my dogs were a major part of getting through some really depressing times.
    Just purchased the Bag of Crazy sequel. I grew up in NYC and northern NJ and have fond memories of 42nd St in the late sixties and early seventies.
    Additionally, fuck that mango Mussolini. Imagine the joy in November when he gets his fat orange ass shredded by Kamala!

  • Always reading, always will buy your stuff. As an author I feel your pain … everyone always says they’re going to buy your stuff and come to your signings, and then very few do … it’s just a nature of the business.

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