By Pete chiarella

One of the weirder theaters on 42nd Street was The Harem. Located at 249 West 42nd Street, it was the only porn grinder open 24/7. The theater itself was actually upstairs. The lobby was on the street and they sold XXX video preview VHS tapes for $3.95. The theater was dark and dingy. The exact quote about this theater from Screw magazine was “ The place is open 24/7 and is inhabited overnight by pre ops, drag queens, perverts and fags all sleeping and festering in their own filth and germs. The theater is long, narrow and ominously dark. Quadruple features change twice a week. Admission is $3 during the day, then $5 after dark.”

Not exactly a ringing endorsement, right? But most of the porn grinders, like The Venus, shut down at 7am and reopened at 10am. So did some of the other grind houses. Why? Because after working the nightshifts, people wanted to go to a movie. After all, this is the city that never sleeps. So for whatever reason, I wound up there one night watching a quadruple feature of cheezy porn films. 

One O’Clock in the morning. Slightly hammered from an evening of drinking, I just wanted a place to chill out. So I pay the five bucks to get in and go upstairs. Can’t see a fuckin thing except the movie. I flick my Bic lighter to make sure no one left a deposit on the seat. At least you can smoke a joint in here without the management giving you any shit. Movie comes on , Tattooed Lady. A tattoo artist is talking to a short haired blonde about inking some lady’s snatch. The girl in question is admiring his work as her short haired brunette girlfriend licks the artwork and her pussy.
The two hit the waterbed for a little carpet munching. Both girls are very well endowed. They oil each other up and tits rub against tits and fingers open some holes. Back in the shop, the artist tells a story about Ruth, and how her world changed after getting inked. Scene changes to a couple of guys beating the shit out of each other. This looks like a real fight. Ruth is a sleazy looking blonde who walks in on them and wonders what’s going on. Ruth shows them the butterfly tattoo on her ass. 

The two guys argue over the tattoo. One guy is real pissed off and leaves Ruth with the other guy. Ruth has a killer bod and gives the guy a sloppy blowjob. The two get into a 69 position and Ruth eats his ass. Intense scene here as Ruthie really works over that cock with her mouth and pussy. Back at the shop, the other girl decided to get some ink. The artist preps her ass for the needle. He tells her a story about a tattooed lady that got him interested in the business.

Flashback to him climbing in a box car that has a sleeping blonde lady hobo in it. He nibbles an exposed nipple. She pulls off her jeans to show him a cool rose tattoo on her ass. The two get naked in the straw. The artist licks her pink clam. She returns the favor with an outstanding hummer. She climbs on top of him and rides his cock to a steamy climax.
Back at the shop, the artist starts inking a rose on the girl’s ass. Nice shot of her face as we fade out into her fantasy. She is naked in the woods. She plays with herself until the Artist shows up. He looks a lot like the blonde guy in Cannibal Holocaust and yes, he does get eaten. Whoever shot this really knew their way around a camera. It is really well shot with some real hot action. Her fantasy ends back at the shop. Her tattoo is finished and so is the movie. 

2am: Some heavy set drag queen is circulating the theater offering blowjobs. I wave her off before she gets to the empty seat next to me. She looked like Aldo Ray with lipstick on. Hawaii Sex -O is up next. Porn guys would always bastardize a popular movie or TV show. A couple lament about a guy named Jackson. “ He taught me everything I know” she says. Too bad he didn’t teach you how to act. They strip and hit the beach. She’s a really well built brunette named Delilah. They screw as the waves crash over them. He eats her pussy and by the look on her face ,I’d say she likes it.

All is well until a guy shows up with an obviously fake gun, he orders them to get dressed, then takes off with Delilah in an ambulance, seriously ,WTF? Cut to some oak trees. These are indigenous to Hawaii? See, you can learn something from watching porn. Now we are in someone’s apartment where another brunette is blowing a guy while Delilah is passed out on the floor. The guy says that he is Hung Tu or something. The guy is whiter than rice. Check out the cool water pipe in the background. Hung comes in the girl’s mouth. 

Apparently Hung Tu killed Jackson. Delilah kicks Hung Tu in his balls. “ Take her to the back” he screams, holding his nutsack. Hung takes a hit off the water pipe as another girl blows a dark skinned guy. Then the guy plows her hairy pussy as Hung Tu takes another hit. Hell I’m going to join old Hung as I lite up another joint. Hung seems really hammered and is cheering the couple on. 

The girl that just got plowed gives Delilah a massage. Delilah keeps muttering that she’s going to escape . We get a nasty close up of her lubed up snatch. “ are you relaxing?” the girl asks as she shoves her fingers into Delilah’s twat. She sits on Delilah’s face and tells he to “ put your tongue in it or we’ll kill you a lot sooner than we planned. “I don’t think I could get drunk enough to go down on this nasty snatch. A little fisting seems to be in order.

Terry, the guy from the beach, shows up with a gun. He an Delilah escape in a helicopter. Delilah takes Terry to get Jackson’s stash. The stash is a million dollars in uncut heroin. Terry admits that it was he who killed Jackson. Delilah attacks him and they duke it out on the cliff. Impressive aerial photography as Terry takes a header off the cliff with the bag of dope. A quote from Shakespeare flashes across the screen as the film runs out.

3am: “Love Lies Waiting”. This one has credits that haven’t been chewed up by these overworked projectors. My bladder is about to burst. I go to the men’s room. A weird little guy asks me to piss in his mouth. I ignore him. This one was shot in California. We get a luscious California blonde with a back mini skirt and boots. She gets picked up by a biker with a really cool ride. She tells the biker that she is a prostitute. Her name is Veronica and she takes the biker, Dale, to Madame Eva’s house. Veronica and Eva are both smoking ‘hot.

Ronnie does Dale for the ride. She gives him a prolonged blowjob, then gets some whipped cream involved. Dale has to eat Veronica’s cream covered pussy. Sorry, folks, but for me, fuckin’ and food don’t mix. Two other hookers hitch a ride with two guys from out of town. These girls are really hot. They take the guys to Eva’s. The Redhead of the two goes into a room with a guy who wants to fuck her in the ass. “ that’s another $50” she tells him. He’s not down with it, so she makes him a deal. If he doesn’t like what she does, he gets to fuck her in the ass. Charming.

This girl really knows how to make a dick hard and swallows his cock down to the balls. Non stop fucking and sucking as she coaxes a load of baby batter from his throbbing cock. Eva is in deep conversation with Dale, tell him the she, personally , trains all her girls. She gives Dale a sample. The gown comes off and she has trashy lingerie underneath. I’m in heaven!! She swallows dale’s pride easily. Eva rides Dale until he shoots a load of ball spackle on her tits. 

Veronica comes back and shoots Dale a dirty look. Eva goes to check on the other girls. One of the out of town guys( Rick Lutze) is sniffing a pair of dirty panties, He demands to be sucked off as he sniffs. Now he wants to cross dress. The drag queens are loving this, one yells “ you go, girl”. I stifle a laugh. He fucks the girl while wearing her bra and nightie. 

Eva offers the guys a girl on girl show for $20. The two hotties get down to some serious carpet munching . The guys stand over the girls and jerk off. They shoot their loads and leave. The girls are still munching as the film runs out. This one was really good. 

4am: My ass is getting numb and I light up another joint. Someone a few rows behind me must have nodded out. A bottle hit’s the floor with a loud clunk and rolls down and hits my foot. It was a quart bottle of Thunderbird , the crown jewel of under a dollar wine in the wino universe. Next up, Fog City Productions Present “Up at J. J’s Place”

This is an interracial film with Sharon Thrope, three black dudes and two other white girls. These films were know as mixed combo films. Three typical 70’s black dudes are shooting pool. They wind up in a penthouse, obviously J.J.s with three white sluts. There is a really sleazy back alley ambiance to this film. They drink, smoke weed and snort coke. Sharon gets her really hairy pussy played with as these guys talk a lot of shit back and forth. 

A lot of blow is snorted, then out comes the black snakes. One girl eats the hairy twat of her friend. This just turns into an endless orgy with asshole eating, sucking, fucking and lots of girl on girl action. None of these guys seem interested in eating pussy. The urban legend was that black guys don’t eat pussy, well at least back in the day. The End flashes as the camera dwells on a spent huge black cock. 

Now Tattooed Lady starts again. I’m done as I need to go for breakfast. The Harem survived up until the late 90’s. It went out during the Rudy Guliani porn purge. These films can be seen on my Sleazy Grindhouse Picture Show Volume 2. All the porn grinders are gone, but the life blood of these places, the films, live on. 

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